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CHAPTER 53 OF 277 · Infinite Cashback System
| Bros Before Hoes, Unless She’s Really Hot
7:09
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[SYSTEM INITIALIZING] [Host found true calling.] [Goals Detected: Financial Independence. Social Ascension.] [Requirement Met: User has hit the lowest possible point.] Jordan McKnight spent three thousand dollars on…
00:00SECTION 1 OF 5−07:08
CHAPTERS
277 of 390 narrated
01
| The Price of a Pathetic Fantasy
9:29
02
| Infinite Cashback: Active
5:12
03
| You Have 24 Hours to Stop Being You
6:54
04
| There Is No Tomorrow
5:02
05
| My First Boss Fight is a Pizza Box
6:38
06
| You Are What You Don’t Throw Away
7:07
07
| Apparently, Cleaning Counts as Cardio
6:55
08
| A Social Interaction Buffed by Fabuloso
10:10
09
| The Intimidation Fee is Apparently Complimentary
7:57
10
| My Name Isn’t Ricky
9:25
11
| My Bank Account Just Leveled Up
11:42
12
| Registering Her is a Financial and Emotional Risk
7:53
13
| SLOT ONE: REGISTERED
6:25
14
| A Three-Thousand-Dollar Beta Test
8:19
15
| We Both Drive a Honda Civic, So It Must Be Fate
10:24
16
| The Girl in the Rearview Mirror
6:45
17
| The Thud From Unit 404
7:01
18
| My Life Is A Sitcom
10:08
19
| Welcome to Unit 403
8:06
20
| Ground Rules for the Girl Next Door
8:22
21
| Do Not Get Attached to the Transaction
12:00
22
| My Life Is A Gacha Game Now
6:52
23
| The Biohazard Upgrade
6:42
24
| Maintenance Required
8:18
25
| Proximity Alert
8:42
26
| Amazon Princesses and Other Goals
8:44
27
| Resisting the RNG
6:29
28
| Oh. It’s You.
6:18
29
| The Prada Bag Guy
7:28
30
| A Full Deck of Pain
6:52
31
| Not a Date, or Something
6:15
32
| An Invitation to Watch Netflix (And Panic)
6:47
33
| A First Date in Aisle Five
7:09
34
| Maximum Atmosphere
9:01
35
| Three Feet Feels Like Three Inches
7:35
36
| Counter-Programming the Fear
6:29
37
| The Statistical Probability of You and Me
7:13
38
| I’m Scared
8:15
39
| The Calypso Origin Story
6:36
40
| I Lied, I Wanted You Here
6:27
41
| This is Some Kind of Black Magic Fuckery
6:27
42
| Take This Upstairs
6:49
43
| My First Time Was a Critical Hit
8:01
44
| Condoms Are for Overthinkers
8:16
45
| We’re Going to Need a Bigger Towel
7:15
46
| Post-Sex Negotiations Involve Korean Takeout
7:10
47
| My Superpower is Tonguing Down Suspicions
8:19
48
| My Brother’s Keeper Has Questions
6:20
49
| The Terms and Conditions of My Affection
7:44
50
| Twenty Million Dollars is a Very Complicated Aphrodisiac
9:18
51
| I Ruined Everything, But At Least I Got Legendary Loot
7:11
52
| My Relationship Status is Now ’In Beta Testing’
7:02
53
| Bros Before Hoes, Unless She’s Really Hot
7:09
54
| My Wingman’s Only Move is a Lie
8:03
55
| My Required Reading Includes Two New Beauties
7:01
56
| My Social Skills Are Still Buffering, But At Least She Laughed
7:05
57
| Socializing is a Daily Quest, Family is a Raid Boss
6:50
58
| My Apology Got a Failing Grade
10:52
59
| My Girlfriend (Maybe?) Just Summoned Me With a Single Word [PS BONUS]
6:35
60
| Navigating the Minefield of a Single Shared Wall
6:52
61
| My Lips Say Yes, My Brain Says You’re an Idiot
6:50
62
| The Rules of Engagement [CASTLE BONUS]
7:15
63
| The Kissing Game Has No Rules [CASTLE BONUS]
6:29
64
| Marking Territory [CASTLE BONUS]
7:40
65
| My Mother, The Text-Nuke [CASTLE BONUS]
8:03
66
| About Next Saturday... [CASTLE BONUS]
7:06
67
6-7 | We Can Be Messy Together [CASTLE BONUS]
6:56
68
| Tumbleweeds, Bunnies, and Bitches
8:57
69
| The Siren, The Headpat, and The Loaded Weapon
6:58
70
| A Weather Forecast [CASTLE BONUS]
7:12
71
| A Different Kind of Income Stream [CASTLE BONUS]
7:01
72
| You’re Gonna Scare The Hoes [CASTLE BONUS]
6:32
73
| You Will Sing Or You Will Be Shamed
6:35
74
| Calypso Bleeds Through
7:38
75
| Guilty Feet
6:58
76
| The Sanrio Store Option
7:33
77
| So, What’s Your Type?
6:55
78
| The Wrong Answer And The Right Answer
7:37
79
| You Won’t Mind, Will You?
11:04
80
| Cedar, Clean Laundry, and Him
7:39
81
| A Transactional Apology
8:14
82
| Comfort Over Style Tonight [PS BONUS]
9:53
83
| My Girlfriend, My Friend, My Swamp Monster
7:54
84
| I Chose Sleep Over Sex and Now We Have to Talk About Her Job
8:10
85
| We Said the Words
7:59
86
| My Boyfriend, My Brand, and The Friend Who Might Ruin Both
7:30
87
| My Girlfriend’s Breakfast Netted Me a $3.68 Profit
7:53
88
| Aggregate Demand and Three Competing Conversations
6:58
89
| You Can’t Out-Lift a Bad Diet
8:10
90
| You Upgraded
7:07
91
| How Do You Even Know That?
7:06
92
| My Fight, My Boyfriend
7:47
93
| The Golden Ticket Feels a Little Tarnished
6:56
94
| It Was Perfect. Wasn’t It?
6:44
95
| OBS Studio is a Terrible Wingman
8:22
96
| This Isn’t How You Set Up a Twitch Stream
8:11
97
| What Do You Mean, ’Performing’?
6:55
98
| Left. Left. Left. Right. No, Left.
7:39
99
| Thigh-Highs and Thermal Paste
9:30
100
| Cute is What You Call a Puppy
9:42